Alcoholic dating website
Alcoholic dating website - who fantasia dating
first off, I know the AA recommendation about not dating during your first year of sobriety. :) My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago (completely amicable, he moved to Chicago to start grad school and the distance just became unsustainable, I live in San Francisco). He's great, seems very stable and self-aware, he doesn't drink (not in the program but just chooses not to).My ex has been great and supportive, he was also in the program and recently shared with me some of the things that went wrong in the disastrous relationship he got into at 3 months sober -- being overly vulnerable, got attached too quickly, and lost focus on himself and his recovery, as a way of helping me know what pitfalls to look out for.
If the person I am dateing can not attend or be around drinking than we don't have much in common. I want someone who can go have fun with out the alcohol. He knows that I will have a drink on occasion, but, I am not going out to get drunk anymore. I always felt guilty if I had a glass of wine at dinner ..it's kinda like waving a big piece of chocolate cake in front of a dieter. It all depends on how spiritually comfortable you are within yourself. heck i have even offered him a drink every once in awhile when i do see him... And, that is exactly what I am hoping for with this guy. how long he has been on the program..how he came to be on the program... Again, you NEVER become "recovered" if you are a true alcoholic.
This is all very new to me, and him, for that matter, and I would like to talk to him about it, but, only if he is willing to share it with me. before we got back together he hadnt had a drink if 6months... I mean they must have will power, but would you offer someone who is contemplating suicide a gun?!! My mother is an alcoholic, and i was raised with it my entire life.
I've never gone to a meeting, and I wouldn't have the slightest clue on what to expect, but I know that he does have a friend that he goes with already, so it's good to know that he does have someone, besides myself, that supports him in this. when i first started dating him i didnt know how bad he actually was... When I say alcoholics can have a life and go into establishments that serve alcohol, I didn't mean they can suddenly drink alcohol non-alcoholically. I commend anyone who takes a pro-active stance on their addiction and works to overcome it. I know its an irrational thing, but I really cant trust anyone who drinks more than socially and I would always fear that theyd relapse.
i knew he liked going out and having a beer to unwind from a stressful day at work... A true alcoholic never "learns how to drink" normally. it would probably be best to date someone who is not an alcoholic trying to better him/herself. I know its a harsh judgement, but Id be a nervous wreck and overreacting all the time in fear of him drinking...
An alcoholic, who is working the program and secure with his or her sobriety, can very well be with someone who drinks. i decided I would just refrain from putting myself in that situation since it is a sensitive issue.
If they are truly working the AA program the way that it is suggested, they will be able to make SOBER decisions and decide to leave a relationship or establishment if they feel that is in their best interest. I dont mean to diminish the efforts of those recovering, and I am not assuming they will all relapse, just trying not to reopen issues from the past. I'm a recovering alcoholic myself, and if I'm at a restaurant or somewhere else where alcohol is served, it doesn't bother me.
Yes, I would date a recovering alcoholic, and if he's serious enough about recovery to bring his A. I order my ginger ale, and I sip on that while I enjoy conversation with my drinking family and/or friends.
I was not court mandated, but I felt it was the best thing for me. he hasnt touched a drink since early nov...now knows he can control it.... hence why he gave up coz it really wasnt doing anything for him as he would push himself to see how much he could drink in a day... i use to go out and party 6 days out of the 7 before i had my son.... He seems like he has a good head on his shoulders, and would be able to control himself in the future. let him know he doesnt have to do it alone if he doesnt want too... There are many different variations as to each alcoholic's life.
It has shown me a different way to live life on life's terms. There are so many misconceptions of alcoholism and AA in general. but he always knew that he didnt want to slip back to his old habit..the time we have been back together 9months now.. he knows he can drink and then not have anything for months on end.... the next day see if he could do more then the day before.... I'm glad to hear about others challenges in this area, and what has been done to work through the problem. go to places that dont serve alcohol if possible.... he has to totally get that urge out of his system before even thinking of picking up a glass... he was never tempted to go and place a order at the bar... Going to an open AA meeting may be WAY TOO MUCH for a particular partner.
The most obvious is that the stress of the relationship, or the ending of it, can be a tremendous trigger for the alcoholic to drink.
Secondly, getting sober is an introspective process and some what of a fact/fault/amends/solution finding/implementing mission (see 4th - 9th steps) and relationships are a huge distraction to that process.
It is something shared in AA meetings and from my own experience of seeing new ppl make these particular changes it has rarely turned out good.