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I knew he loved me more than I loved him, and knew he would never leave me.Apparently this is common for those of us with daddy abandonment issues and a history of sexual abuse.
To say I was a good wife prior to my sobriety would be a lie, I was not in so many ways.
My husband and I had much more of a parent child relationship for many years, it certainly was not a healthy relationship.
I married my husband because I thought he was safe.
The first year of my recovery did not see many changes in our relationship as I suspect he did not think the changes in me would stick but the last year had been good, and I believed we had a good shot of making a happy life together.
And then he did two things that sent red flags up for me.
So when the following month’s phone bill came and he again pulled the detail, I put on my private investigators hat and began digging.
I pulled cell phone bills for the prior year and found a large amount of phone calls to 1.800 sex/chat lines. I then found web history of looking at ads on craigs list as well as various phone calls and text to random cell numbers.
I’d rather he be addicted to anything other than sex, I think I could get past anything else.
Anyway, any insight, opinions or direction you could give would be very much appreciated!
The disturbing parts were the amount of time spent on the calls, and the fact that they went to local call lines. When I confronted my husband I did so with love for him as I understand addiction and did not want to make him feel ashamed or judged.
He was shocked that I had found him out, but offered only a little remorse.
And I go from feeling sorry for him, and wanting to help, to not being able to stand being anywhere near him, angry and then to feeling completely numb.