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To be clear, my boyfriend isn’t rich, but he’s picked up one important habit over the years: investing.I have to admit it’s comforting to be in a serious relationship with someone who’s somewhat financially responsible (read: less impulsive).
And while that may be true for some, a 2010 study by the University of Dundee in Scotland found that as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men. As a woman becomes more confident in her own career and finances, she seeks a partner who matches that, which often is not a 25-year-old guy.Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.I even tried it when my boyfriend and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am.And continued to call when he said he would and replied to messages fairly quickly.In general, dating games are rather boring to a guy who’s probably had his fair share.Persistence also takes confidence—my boyfriend extended three invitations before I finally agreed to get coffee with him.
As Aaliyah once said, “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.” Older men know this. I won’t lie: It can be annoying at times dating someone who has “been there/done that,” but it can also be helpful when your partner can use his experiences to guide you.
Anyone who’s been in a serious long-term relationship knows the journey isn’t without certain challenges, and when you’re dating an older man—we’re talking a decade or more—things can get even trickier.
I know this firsthand, as I’m 25 years old, and I’ve been dating an older guy nearly 15 years my senior for almost four years.
People are shocked when I respond “mutual friends.” How could a girl in her early 20s be friends with people in their late 30s?
Well, I was (and still am) friends with a select crew of musicians and creatives in Los Angeles, and my boyfriend happened to be a part of that scene.
It can be tough when you and your older partner can’t share childhood commonalities (dude’s never read a book!?