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It's not that the overall gender ratio in this country is out of whack; it's that there's a growing imbalance between the number of successful young women and successful young men.
In one frequently cited study, attractive young researchers separately approached opposite-sex strangers on Florida State University's campus and proposed casual sex.
And yet despite the fact that women are holding the sexual purse strings, they aren't asking for much in return these days—the market "price" of sex is currently very low. One is the spread of pornography: Since high-speed digital porn gives men additional sexual options—more supply for his elevated demand—it takes some measure of price control away from women. There are also, quite simply, fewer social constraints on sexual relationships than there once were.
As a result, the sexual decisions of young women look more like those of men than they once did, at least when women are in their twenties.
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This isn't to say that all men direct the course of their relationships. But what many young men wish for—access to sex without too many complications or commitments—carries the day.
If women were more fully in charge of how their relationships transpired, we'd be seeing, on average, more impressive wooing efforts, longer relationships, fewer premarital sexual partners, shorter cohabitations, and more marrying going on.
Jill, a 20-year-old college student from Texas, is one of the many young women my colleagues and I interviewed who finds herself confronting the sexual market's realities.
Startlingly attractive and an all-star in all ways, she patiently endures her boyfriend's hemming and hawing about their future.
And yet there is one area in which men are very much in charge: premarital heterosexual relationships.
When attractive women will still bed you, life for young men, even those who are floundering, just isn't so bad.
Don't forget your Freud: Civilization is built on blocked, redirected, and channeled sexual impulse, because men will work for sex.